Introduction – Little Plastic Men United
So, to kick things off (not even sorry), for those under the age of forty, Subbuteo is pretty much what we had before we had FIFA. Making its debut as far back as 1947, Subbuteo, in a nutshell, is a tabletop football game in which two players simulate a game of football by taking turns to flick little plastic players around a fabric football pitch, trying to knock a lightweight plastic ball into the goal. Barring the offside rule and a designated shooting area, it really is that simple.
As entertaining as the simplistic gameplay is, over the long years, many found as much if not more enjoyment in the customisation side of Subbuteo.
Back in the eighties and nineties, add-ons for Subbuteo were big business. You could buy whole stands and terraces to surround the pitch with, creating your very own stadium. There were also floodlights, camera crews, spectators, and so much more, to the point where the game began to look more like something which would appeal to model train set enthusiasts.
Introduction – Little Plastic Men United
So, to kick things off (not even sorry), for those under the age of forty, Subbuteo is pretty much what we had before we had FIFA. Making its debut as far back as 1947, Subbuteo, in a nutshell, is a tabletop football game in which two players simulate a game of football by taking turns to flick little plastic players around a fabric football pitch, trying to knock a lightweight plastic ball into the goal. Barring the offside rule and a designated shooting area, it really is that simple.
As entertaining as the simplistic gameplay is, over the long years, many found as much if not more enjoyment in the customisation side of Subbuteo.
Back in the eighties and nineties, add-ons for Subbuteo were big business. You could buy whole stands and terraces to surround the pitch with, creating your very own stadium. There were also floodlights, camera crews, spectators, and so much more, to the point where the game began to look more like something which would appeal to model train set enthusiasts.
This modern version, Subbuteo Champions League (2021), attempts to bring the beautiful game to a new generation by making use of the ever-popular UEFA Champions League iconography.
Let’s take a closer look and see whether it’s a championship contender, or a candidate for relegation.
Men In the Box
Subbuteo Champions League comes with everything you need to begin pretty much straight away, with one or two caveats which I’ll explain shortly.
The set comprises a set of instructions, a fabric pitch approximately 100x150cm, two plastic goals and nets, a ball, and two teams of eleven players, in this case, the red team and the white team - more on that later.
Game Setup – Pre-match Warmup
In terms of getting ready for your first game, it’s not quite as simple as just emptying out the box and flicking away to your heart’s content; there are one or two preparatory steps you’ll need to take first.
The first, and most essential of these, is to build the two goals. The goal frames themselves come in two pieces which click together, and a separate net. Now, this is where it all gets a bit fiddly. The nets are poorly designed and do not simply fit the goal frames as you’d perhaps expect. It honestly took me the best part of forty minutes - nearly an entire half of a real life football match - to properly, securely fix the nets to the goals. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that no small amount of white cotton and superglue were deployed in the creation of said goals.
The second piece of setup is not as dramatic, but equally necessary, in my opinion. The pitch, you see, comes folded up and sealed inside a plastic bag. The first time you remove it, therefore - yep, you’ve guessed it: it’s badly creased and in need of a good iron to flatten it out before you can really have a meaningful game.
Weirdly enough, the instructions explicitly tell you not to iron the pitch.
To be fair, you only need to build the goals once, and depending on how you choose to store your newly-ironed pitch, you shouldn’t have to steam those creases out every time, so this should really only be a first-game problem.
Other than that, just pop the ball on the centre spot, line your team up in your favourite formation, and away you go.
How to Play – Flick, Pass, Shoot!
Once the initial setup is out of the way, the gameplay itself really couldn’t be simpler.
The attacking team - the team in possession, as Subbuteo Champions League refers to it - has to make consecutive flicks of their players to move the ball up the pitch and score.
Flicks must be made with the fingernail, and players may not use their thumb as a ‘springboard’ from which to flick their finger.
A single player may only be flicked a maximum of three times before another player has to be chosen to make a flick. After every flick made by the team in possession, the defending team can make one single defensive, tactical flick of their own in an attempt to close down the attacker.
If the attacking player fails to make contact with the ball, possession reverts to the other team, and now they’re on the attack.
Obviously there are subtleties, caveats, and special rules which run deeper than this surface-level summary, but in essence, that’s how Subbuteo Champions League plays out; players take it in turns to flick their player pieces with the ultimate aim of scoring goals and winning the match.
Complexity – Silky Playmaker, or Lumbering Centre-half?
It’s not all screamers into the top corner from thirty yards, though; as simple as it looks, Subbuteo can actually be pretty challenging at times.
Subbuteo Champions League is marketed at ages six and up and, in my experience, this is a fair and accurate reading of the minimum age group. When it comes to simply flicking the players around the pitch, and using the long handle on the back of the goalkeepers to attempt to make saves, any six year old could easily have a great time with this game.
However, it is within the rules themselves where that added layer of complexity comes in.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t Dark Souls, but there are distinct rules governing what players can and can not do during throw-ins, corners, goal kicks, free kicks - both direct and indirect - penalties, immediately after a goal is scored, and when offsides are called. I regularly found myself checking the rules for clarification on these differences.
And as for the rules themselves, my word… the text is so small, I’m convinced that only the little plastic Subbuteo players themselves can actually read it.
That minor gripe aside, even learning the differences in allowed actions at a corner versus a free kick isn’t exactly rocket science, so I award Subbuteo Champions League top marks in the Complexity category.
Complexity: 5/5
Easy to master, and if you get stuck, just make up your own rules like everyone else.
Player Interaction – One-On-One With The ‘Keeper…
Subbuteo Champions League is not turn-based in the sense that a traditional board game is turn-based; the attacking and defending players do not have to wait until the other is ready before they make their move.
Look away briefly and your opponent scores? Tough.
Check your phone and your opponent plays an inch-perfect through-ball? That’s on you, mate.
In this sense, the game can be fast-paced, frantic, and fraught with no small amount of controversy, just like the real thing.
I’ve played countless games of Subbuteo over the years, and almost all of them have resulted in laughter and competitive ribbing of your opponent. I award Subbuteo Champions League 5/5 for player interaction.
Player Interaction: 5/5
Somewhere between a game of chess and an away day at Millwall.
Replayability – “Can We Play You Every Week?”
I mean, come on, this game was arguably built with replayability in mind. Whether that’s in the short term - immediately challenging your mate to a rematch after that last minute winner which was clearly offside - or coming back to it again and again over years and even decades, ‘Subbuteo’ and ‘Replayability’ go together like ‘the England men’s national team’ and ‘Disappointment’.
In addition to the one-on-one grudge match against your mates or siblings, Subbuteo also has entire communities out there dedicated to solo play. While it requires something of a reimagining of the rules, and a decision or two on how to approach goalkeeping, Subbuteo Champions League can also be enjoyed as a solo pursuit, adding a new dimension to matches and adding to the replayability factor.
Further to that, as I mentioned earlier, there’s also the collecting and building aspect of the hobby, beyond merely playing against your mates. Search on YouTube for ‘Subbuteo stadium builds’ and you’ll see a whole other side to this game. I award replayability 5/5.
Replayability: 5/5
There’s a reason this game has been around since 1947.
Artwork – Does It Feel Like the Champions League?
I suppose the real question here is, given the Champions League branding, does it also have that feel? Does a game of Subbuteo Champions League actually feel like watching the elite clubs of England, Germany, Spain, et al going up against each other under the lights of a packed out European stadium on a Tuesday night?
In a word: No.
In fact, it’s fair to say that this, more so than any other part of the game, is where Subbuteo Champions League really drops the ball - or should that be misses a sitter?
At first glance, seeing the art on the cover of the box, emblazoned with the instantly-recognisable UEFA Champions League logo, one may be forgiven for thinking this is going to be the real deal. Sadly, in reality, once the box has been opened and the components removed for play, it’s really only the inclusion of the Champions Logo along the side of the pitch which reminds you you’re playing a themed game. Don’t get me wrong, the pitch art looks great, it’s just conspicuous by its solitude.
The ball is the same generic white ball you get in any and all other Subbuteo sets. The goals/nets have no branding or colouration which marks them out as being Champions League themed, either (unlike the old Italia 90 ones - look them up.)
And as for the teams… The manufacturer, University Games, does actually hold the licences for some actual football teams. Would it have been too much to ask, therefore, to get, say, Liverpool and Barcelona in the box? Instead, we get a generic team all in red, and a generic team all in white (I’ve since painted mine to represent Middlesbrough and Leeds Utd.)
Again, looking at the positives, the set does look great laid out on the tabletop, and the branded pitch looks the part; it’s just, like so many players my favourite team have signed over the years, I can’t help but see an abundance of wasted potential.
Artwork: 2/5
Oh well, you can’t win every week
Component Quality – Full 90 Minutes, or Stretchered Off?
I’m really trying to avoid saying ‘back in my day’, but back in my day, I seem to remember the player pieces feeling different. They were harder, shinier; the bases had a snooker ball quality to them which made them audibly ping when flicked, and they were permanently moulded onto the bases.
This modern version sees removable players which can simply be pulled out of their bases; the bases themselves feeling a little softer than the classic pieces I remember. They also have a tendency to lean forward like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video. This, University Games suggests, is a feature, not a bug, and even go so far as to highlight these ‘flexible players’ on the back of the box.
I have already spoken about the pitch and the goals, and the actual ball is ‘fine’ to the point it’s too boring to even warrant a mention.
Once you’ve ironed the pitch and figured out how to make the best of the awful goals, the rest of the components are fine, but nothing more.
Component Quality: 3/5
Mid-table at best
Final Thoughts – Post-match Analysis
If there’s one thing Subbuteo Champions League gets right, it’s making you feel like you’re actually playing football. You’re physically moving the players, passing the ball, beating defenders, and trying to put it in the back of the net. Every flick matters, and when you pull off that inch-perfect pass or smash one into the top corner, there’s a genuine sense that you made it happen. It’s about as close as you can get to recreating the experience of playing football with your mates without digging out your old boots and 1994 Man Utd kit.
Unfortunately, it’s not all hat-tricks and clean sheets…
The goals are a nightmare to assemble, the pitch arrives horribly creased, and the rules are printed in a headache-inducing font. More importantly, for something carrying the fabled UEFA Champions League name, the theming feels like a missed opportunity. Beyond the branded pitch, there’s nothing to distinguish this from standard Subbuteo.
So, who is it for? Football fans, retro gaming fans, and anyone who enjoys competitive games where skill can quickly turn into laughter and banter. It’s easy to pick up, challenging enough to keep you coming back, and endlessly replayable. Most importantly, it succeeds at making you feel like you’re playing football rather than simply playing a game about football. The Champions League branding may be a missed open goal, but the underlying game remains as good as ever.
