Question: What is it about the sloped armour with no turret that just creates an adorable little boi? Meet the Jagpanzer 38(t), AKA and hereby referred to as… the Hetzer. Please enjoy the following as I review the model and stats for the Hetzer in Bolt Action 3rd edition.
Tank talk
Real quick context for what I am about to submit you to, powered by Wikipedia. The Hetzer was a German late war attempt to upgrade the Panzer 38(t) - a lovely little tank which was rapidly becoming outgunned - into an effective little tank destroyer. The Hetzers in their various forms were intended to quickly, and with minimal factory retooling, offer a counter to the wave of allied tanks pouring into East and West Germany. Thankfully for basically all of Europe there were too little too late and are instead remembered as the adorable little war rhombus that couldn't.
Hetzers assemble!
This fully plastic kit from Warlord Games allows for the construction of one of the following: A mid/late production Hetzer, Flammpanzer 38(t), or 2cm FlaK auf Hetzer reconnaissance/AA vehicle. In the common tongue that’s a tank hunter, a flamethrower, or an anti-air/infantry/light vehicle option. This review will focus on the Flamethrower variant because Hasvik J’adore the BBQ.
Instructions are the standard Warlord affair. It is, genuinely, worth flicking through the lot before starting as there is quite a lot of do this for variant A but not for B or C, which is easy to drift past and before you know it you have accidentally glued on the Kaiser lobster mount when you meant to install the Prussian crab tickler, or whatever the parts are called. Be prepared for some squinting and rotating the pages around as you try to work out exactly where you are supposed to glue some of the greebles but it’s all entirely manageable even for a new starter to the hobby.
The build itself was smooth enough. The tracks and wheels were a little fiddlier than some other kits from Warlord. The tricky part seems to be lining up the track segments without leaving gaps between them. This could have been a mildly defective sprue but I do encounter this every now and again in Warlord tank kits. I ended up having to warp the tracks a little and deploy some sprue glue to fill a slight gap. Hardly the end of the world and once the tracks are weathered and covered in sand the joint will be all but invisible.
Painting the gun tortoise I’m not going to keep boring you with this. For those interested, this is how I do it. A slight point to note, this little champ has a lot of flat surfaces. Be mindful of any washes pooling on flat areas as this can leave some quite jarring splodges of dark colour. For those a little intimidated by that potential challenge consider weathering larger areas with a sponge, and going lighter on washes, applying in multiple layers if necessary.
Here comes the Hetzer
So how does this lad fair on the field? Well, it’s 205 at regular. That’s for 1 hull mounted heavy AT gun, and a 360-degree MMG, but also weak sides. You have the option to take Panzer Ace if you want it. Lastly, you can kick up the heat by swapping the AT gun for a flamethrower for minus 60 points. So as standard it’s a back line delete button happily removing your opponents armour from cover. If opting for the FF then it’s a risk vs reward vehicle that needs to be pushing up to get that 12 inch BBQ cannon in range while also being mindful to hug terrain and protect those weak sides….. That said, it’s cheap enough that it doesn't hurt too much when you lose it.
Beyond the stat line, the first thing I like about it is that low profile. In an era of warfare where a lot of tanks were starting to get very big, you can still tuck this one behind a stone wall and argue hard cover for it. That said, it wears its vulnerability on its sleeve when it has to chase down its prey with the very short range on its flamethrower. I love a firecannon but when you whiff the shot that usually leaves you out in the open and pressing F to pay respects soon after.
Side note for the AA variant - I haven't tried it. I have been running this lad in late war games to keep things loosely historical but my group don’t really run air observers, and tend to bring vehicles that an AA gun would barely scratch. Given trucks and other unarmoured vehicles are less common than they used to be, and light vehicles would be an unusual sight in late war too, that would mostly restrict this variant to shredding infantry. If I am going down that route then I’ll bring out the Wirbelwind with its four autocannons and ability to eliminate entire units, along with their hopes, dreams and aspirations in a single turn of fire.
All in all, I love it like a son. Great anti tank option with a hell of a cool look that you can swap into an anti-things-that-are-not-already-on-fire vehicle. The points seem fair and it’s also a fairly easy one to paint up. 9/10 tank commanders would recommend the Hetzer.
Scores:
Artwork: 90
Complexity: 70
Replayability/story: 100
Interaction/originality: 80
Component quality: 70
Likes: Great suite of options for the kit, looks fantastic/menacing when painted up, and is adorable.
Dislikes: build was a bit fiddly in places, and required some drilling depending on the variant you chose but at least that approach allows for a single, versatile kit.
Overall score: 80
About the author:
Hasvik is as Hasvik does. Hasvik enjoys wargaming, TTRPGS, and board games, as well as Jaffa Cakes, frogs, and rolling my dice on the floor to intimidate my opponent. Hasvik has no socials and cannot be followed for he travels only the hidden paths.
