Bonjour to all you returning readers (or: hello, Pete). When we left off last time, I was on the bus, draped in a sodden t-shirt and trying not to succumb to motion sickness and heat exhaustion – a standard Friday for UKGE, but if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it.
Yes, I am odd. Proudly odd. Oddly proud.
So, day two of the convention proper dawns, day three for me and the happy (knackered) few who were here on Thursday. Let battle commence!
Saturday
It’s a little less oppressively hot today, but Saturday is notorious for being the busiest day of the weekend. The word is out about the popularity of Battle for Hoth, so my erstwhile foreman friend Nick (“Rob, if you want to do it, you do it instead”) has been sent to the Fantasy stand with another copy of of BoH under his arm to nestle amidst the other Star Wars and Lord of the Rings games – Fate of the Fellowship has been doing very well indeed, it being Pandemic in Middle Earth… and in answer to my wish for UKGE to be taken seriously by the gaming industry… sorta. There are pre-release copies available here. They’re not cheap though – the twin USPs of Middle Earth and Pandemic have levered it up to a double-taking £70! The peeps don’t seem to mind though, and it is going like hot Lemnas bread.
The upshot of Nick departing for the Undying Lands (not a Magic reference) is that the War for Arrakis is mothballed and another copy of Battle for Hoth put in its place. Maybe, if I play my cards right, I can get a closer look at it…
For now, it’s back on the bus for me, and the chance to draw some truly appalling pictures on Duplik. Seriously, if I presented them to my mother, they would make their way to fridge door… only to be intercepted by the bin on the way there. We can’t all be good at everything, can we? Joining the roster of games on the bus is a new imagining of the popular yet frustrating Jungle Speed – Donkey Kong Jungle Speed! If you are not familiar with Jungle Speed, it is a bit like playing Snap with a big totem in the middle – when two cards in play match, whoever grabs the totem out of the two matching cards gets to offload their discard pile. DK Jungle Speed adds an extra element – bananas! At the beginning of the game, little bananas are emptied out of Donkey Kong’s barrel (yes, there’s a barrel too, but mentioning that back then would remove the impact of reading ‘bananas!’ on its own) and scattered evenly around the play area. The big banana is then placed on top of the barrel. On the first match, the players rush to grab the big banana. Whilst the banana is off the barrel, if there is a match, the matching players throw a little banana into the barrel – slowest banana loses. There is also a card in the deck which puts the big banana back on the barrel – that’s a lot of b’s – so it doesn’t just degenerate into throwing little bananas about. The game ends when either there are no more little bananas to throw in the barrel or one player runs out of cards. They player with the least cards wins. Silly, fun and heavily banana orientated.
No interviews today, so we power through the morning with lots of people wanting to have a go at Ink and Brick Like This – you cannot beat the ageless appeal of Lego, and Monkey Palace, the other new Lego board game, is apparently doing well waaaaaay over in Hall 2 – I help someone to find it over there, and the size of this event continues to be bewildering. When it gets to lunch, I am called off the bus. Oh dear, have I upset someone with one of my pictures in Duplik? I can assure you that I meant no offence with my artistic ineptitude. No, it is not that – I’ve been asked to step up and take over demoing Battle of Hoth for lunch time! EXCITEMENT.
If you were not already aware, Battle of Hoth is not an entirely new game. It is based on the popular WW2 skirmish game, Memoir ’44, released by Days of Wonder back in 2004 (I refuse to believe that it is over two decades old… nope). Like Memoir, it is for two players and is based around the playing of cards and the rolling of dice. Each player has a number of units, represented by clusters of minis on the board – these units can’t be split, but act as a visual representation of the units hit points – yeah, you could do it in a less audacious manner, but where is the fun in that? These are laid out on a predetermined map divided into three columns (left, middle and right) and further divided into hexagons (obstacles and features are determined by moveable times).
Each unit has movement and attack stats and restrictions that vary determined by the type of unit – for instance, Rebel infantry can move up to two hexes and not attack or move one hex and attack. This is done by rolling dice, and the number of dice is determined by the range, for example a close-quarters attack may give you three dice, while an attack on a unit three hexes away may only yield one – terrain can change this too.
The dice have five symbols on them: red cross, blue soldier, black cog-thing, yellow blast and purple arrow. The red cross is a miss, the blue soldier is a hit on infantry units, the black cog is a hit on mechanised units and the blast hits everything. The purple arrow causes the unit to retreat. For every successful hit on the unit, a mini is removed from the board – the last removed unit becomes a Medal on the aggressor’s board. If a unit is forced to retreat, it moves back the number of hexes according to the number of purple arrows. Not all units can be forced to retreat.
Some units can also be Special squads, with additional abilities and/or advantages, which is denoted by a little cardboard chit. Which is sometimes overlooked. Not by me, of course…
The cards are the thing that determine which units act and what they can do. Each player has a hand of five cards, drawn from their own deck, and on their turn chooses one card to play from these. Most cards will indicate a column or columns on the board and a number or numbers relating to the number of units that can be moved in those columns (and they can move from one column to another); other cards will give specific instructions for specific units. Some of these cards are a bit more… oomphy. These are Leaders cards, and you get three of them. These are chosen prior to the game and shuffled into the deck. The Rebel cards are, as expected, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and General Leia Organa. The Empire get Admiral Ozzel (I think), Admiral Veers (I think) and Darth Vader – in the demo, we are using the (spoilers) two apposite Skywalkers.
Spoilers? Spoilers? Come on, Rob, The Empire Strikes Back is older than most people reading this.
Each player will have their own win condition – once that is fulfilled, it’s victory for the evil Empire or the Rebel scum.
Demoing is a little shaky to start as I am trying to trawl my memory for the last time I played Memoir ’44, which is lurking in my brain somewhere between the lyrics from a Kellogg’s Fruit and Fibre advert featuring Ross Kemp and half of The Elements Song by Tom Lehrer – yes, I know, my brain needs a better filing system, but where would you put it? Fortunately, the rules are very intuitive. The scenario (for there are a number to choose from) chosen for the demo is the classic raid on the shield generators… you know, the one where the AT-ATs appear for the first time and everyone gasped in the cinema at the majesty/absurdity of the Empire using giant armour-plated camels in ground attacks. For that reason alone, demos are hugely popular.
It’s a nippy little number too, and though slots are set for about a half hour a pop, with a little push a game can be completed in this time, especially if the thematically nigh impossible to take down AT-ATs get into range of the shield generators – Yes, Lord Vader… You may start your landing.
Most demo groups are in groups of four, and though it is a two-player game per se, it does have the feel of an event game, despite its relative simplicity for a war game, with couples facing couples across the frozen wastes of Hoth. It certainly beats a fondue party.
The other thing about demoing this game is that it gets a lot of attention outside the game – lots of passers-by ask about the release date or just want to ogle the AT-ATs (gamebods only think about one thing – cool minis!). Yeah, it makes for a bit of a festival atmosphere, in a low-key, gamer-fied manner.
Time flies when you’re having fun, and before I know it the two BoH demoers have returned from their break. Time to take another turn around the halls and see what I can find.
One thing I find is a wild Paul, who works at one of my FLGS (I am lucky enough to have two – don’t diss Bradford until you’ve actually been here). He is also working this weekend, but is having a wander at the moment too, and is extolling the virtues of Flesh and Blood (which I was demoing back in 2021, so still have a soft spot for this Soul Blade: The Trading Card Game) and Heroes of the Shire, a game with all the character and all the tokens, that plays as a fun skirmish PvP and a more in-depth Players vs Boss campaigner. It’s an interesting game for people who like a lot of choice – like Paul. I am also on the look-out for Pokemon ‘product’ (I hate that term almost as much as ‘content’ – it’s a convenient term, but makes the creative stiff sound so…bland), as this weekend is the official launch date of Destined Rivals. I do find… some. A Build and Battle box from the Pre-release being sold for £40 without the three extra packs (RRP £25 with the packs) and an Eleite Trainer Box being sold for £80 (RRP £50).
Right, I have to step out for a moment. This is too much. I don’t know how we can stop it, but this scalping has got to STOP. Players and collectors are being fleeced by unscrupulous profiteers taking advantage of short supplies and infrequent print runs. I love this game (though I hate Munkidori and Prismatic Evolutions), but it is being ruined. Players and collectors, support your local FLGS; FLGS, say no to scalpers and flippers – I’m not one for Gatekeeping, but WE WANT OUR GAME BACK! Rant over.
One stall that seems to be getting a lot of attention is the one for Flip 7. I bump into a fellow demoer, Matt, who is… being a civilian this weekend, of all things, and decide to give it a whirl. For all those unfamiliar, it’s a push your luck card game where you try to get the highest score from choosing whether to stick with what you’ve got or twist, the risk being that if you draw the same value card as you already have, you bust out, and the higher the value of the card, the higher the frequency of them in the deck. There are also special cards that give you things like second chances and the ability to force another player to keep twisting. The round ends when either everyone has stuck, busted or someone has managed to draw seven cards – see, Flip 7. In a similar fashion to 6 Nimmt, you can just play a couple of rounds, or play until someone has scored 200 points. A fun, fast filler which I prove to be very bad at, seeing as I can’t resist just going ‘Hit me!’ in a Homer Simpson style. It’s up for Spiel Des Jahres, which I don’t get as it is perfectly… okay. Maybe it’s the Vassel effect kicking in…
The demoer there also gives us a promo of another game, called Tacta, a game where you are laying down cards from your hand over other cards on the table and matching shapes on the cards in a chaotic sprawl to maximize the number of dots visible on your cards and minimize the number of dots visible on your opponent’s cards and… I think this is the better game. But then again, what do I, a gamer, demoer and blogger know? Now excuse me while I arrogantly throw my weight around even more…
Back to the stand for the afternoon shift. The bus is full; the Battles of Hoth are under way; SETI still boggles my mind (“it’s very simple; you just [sound of white noise and static for 20 minutes]. And that’s how you play the game – look, aliens!” – I’m sure it’s great, but I need a proper formal introduction to this game, with invites. And if it turns out like Twilight Imperium… someone’s gonna be a-hurtin’). But a new layer has entered the arena – Forest Shuffle: Dartmoor, along with the designer, Kosch – at least I think it’s Kosch; these are long days. He needs to be elsewhere shortly, but he has enough time to walk me and another exile from the bus through the game.
Now, at this point, I must apologise. When Forest Shuffle came out, it was described as ‘like Earth, but in a smaller box’, and I dismissed it out of hand as… well, I already had Earth, big box, wooden buds, huge stack of cards and all. I didn’t mention this to the aforementioned Kosch-or-Kosch-adjacent as he was quite intense in a possibly misinterpreted eager sort of way, and I didn’t want to incur his wrath. But after his explanation, demonstration and a little bit of a play through, I began to see that, though this bore some commonalities with Earth – it had cards with plants and animals on them – it was quite the different kettle of Brown Trout. And a fun little kettle too.
With apologies to those familiar with Forest Shuffle – I will get to the new bits shortly, just skip this paragraph unless you want to enjoy the obligatory Song of Ice and Fire reference – this is a game where you are building ecosystems around trees/plant for points, and these cards will have interesting synergies with each other that will trigger off other events or allow you to do other things. The trees/plants have four spaces where you can put supporting flora or fauna, depending on the environment the tree provides – top, bottom, left and right. On your turn, you can either draw cards or play cards, which may allow you to draw or claim cards from the central deck or clearing too – this is a central discard row where newly discarded (usually for cost cards) go and remain until there are 10 or more cards, at which point the clearing is…cleared. The cards themselves will be split either horizontally or vertically, so you have to make some tricky decisions when it comes to which part of the card you will use. The game ends when all three ‘Winter is Coming’ cards have been drawn from the deck and the White Walkers storm the forest… no, no, that doesn’t happen – the players total their scores.
Not much has changed with the Dartmoor edition, but there are changes. First, there a whole new set of flora and fauna native to that huge lump of granite which straddles Cornwall and Devon. Next, the Caves (I forgot about the caves – this is where you get to dump cards for extra points) now provide some asymmetry with unique starting conditions for each player. Finally, the biggest change is the new environment: moors. These are cards which are played in landscape, have their own effects/scoring conditions and don’t have left and right slots – outrageous! They do however have a double top and double bottom slot. The other thing about moors is that every card has the potential to be a moor – on the back of each card is a symbol which shows that, when it is placed face down, it will become a moor. This is a really cool idea, but also means that this version can not be mixed with the base game. Oh, and rabbits now live with badgers.
It’s simple, fast, tactical, beautiful and very enjoyable, and I have never seen such glee as on the faces of the group of guys who gathered excitedly around the table to play, apart from the dismay of the chap who couldn’t find a badger for all his rabbits to cohabit with. They will have to wait to enjoy it again, as will I, as it is due for release at Essen Spiel. I can wait, though… I can wait…
Demoing Forest Shuffle: Dartmoor takes me to the end of the day, and it’s back to the bus with us to head into town. I feel it might be time for a refreshing cider, a change of t-shirt and a game suggestion…
“Why is it always Space Base, Rob?” Says Nick. Nick is of the opinion that Space Base is essentially Settlers of Catan; Nick does not like Space Base. Nick is, however, a nice man, and he managed to dodge a game of Innovation the previous night, so he relents on the condition that I don’t bring it next year, which I accept (I am occasionally a reasonable man), so hey-ho, it’s Space Base go-go-go! Naturally Nick wins. Still, at least it’s not Blood on the Clocktower.
Sunday
The final day. This is where I get the sads, because it means another year before my big Busman’s holiday and when I see Richard and Nick again – us elder statesmen of the hobby got to stick together, you know? Regardless of how they feel about it…
The ride in is not via the fun bus this morning, but in Richard’s mirth mobile, which means a nice reminisce about the 90s and how that was only ten or so years ago… shut up, I know. It also means that I don’t have to lug my bag on the bus as I will be going straight from the con to the coach – life in the fast lane, huh?
Before making our way back to our stands, the powers that be have decided to reinstate the team photo. It’s been a while – there have been chops and changes, upheavals and pandemics that were not provided by Matt Leacock, so I think this is possibly the first one of these we’ve had since before lockdown, all those years ago. Some faces I recognise, most I do not. Am I getting too old for this? Do they need this grizzled baldy to carry on the noble tradition of preaching the new to the converted? I told you I get the sads. Never mind that, it’s nice to see that the hobby is healthy and safe in the hands of a new generation of analog gamers. Not that I am done. Not here and not yet.
I didn’t mention that there was another game on the stand; a game that was definitely in the prototype stage, so much so that the dice being used have stickers on and the box, amusingly, has a blueprint and the words ‘work in progress’ printed on the cover. It is a game that know and… may have loved… or not, and categorically deserves the title of modern classic. The game is 7Wonders Dice, and it’s time for me to get my grubby paws on it and prove that I can be awful in every incarnation of 7Wonders.
7Wonders Dice will be a roll and write affair, but with a little bit of 7Wonder flair. Each player receives a drywipe player board featuring their civilisation’s wonder, guild and leader trackers at the top and areas in the centre for buildings, trade and science. Spaces on the left and right are reserved for military things and at the bottom of the board are spaces depicting your resources and money. Like most roll and writes, the board looks pretty daunting when it’s empty, but makes a bit more sense as it starts filling up. How to fill, though?
Here comes the flair bit. Instead of a dice tower or tray, this game comes with a box, with four quadrants for the dice to land in and a lid to stop them going everywhere. The dice are: three grey (for resources), one blue (for buildings), one yellow (for trade), one red (for war) and one green (for science) – seven dice for 7Wonders! One player gives the sealed box a judicious shake and then removes the lid to reveal how the dice have fallen. Players can then choose one of the dice (though they do not remove it from the box, so everyone could conceivably choose the same dice) to either tick an appropriate box (if they can fulfil the resource requirements), complete part of their wonder (if they can fulfil the resource requirements) or colour in some gold (if they are fresh out of resources, and gold can be used as wild resources). There is a potential additional cost though. Each quadrant has a gold cost in the corner, ranging from zero to three – sure that wood looks tempting, but for three gold? I’m not paying that, who do you think you are, Ea-nasir? (both geeky and almost relevant).
As to be expected, this is pretty icontastic, but there’s been a lot of give and take on this. Resources are wood, brick, stone, glass, paper and linen, but the cost for filling in spaces only gives a ‘number of resources’ rather than specific resources. Civic buildings have icons related to rows and columns, trade has camels or markets, relating to the two sides of the markets and can be used to unlock discounts, money and points and cold hard cash. Science allows you to get access buildings, trade or army dice for no cost, points and also unlock new dice that replace the resource dice – guild, leader and wild dice. Beware though, as you can only access these dice if you have unlocked them yourself. The army dice allow you fight either left, right or build up your defences. These means that there are no forfeits for your neighbours, but it does mean you get less points for attacking a player who has defences.
You also get bonuses for completing your ‘blocks’ – these can either give you either an extra dice, an extra box to fill in or more gold. They also trigger the end of the game – first person to complete three blocks ends the game and the points are recorded on the drywipe scoreboard in the time honoured 7Wonders tradition. And I get to see by how much I have lost.
Today is a lot quieter, so I am getting a chance to play along with our guests and… yeah, 7Wonders Dice is alright. Less opportunity for wombo-combos like Ganz Schon Clever, less table-hunger or variety than Hadrian’s Wall or Twilight Inscription, but it’s an amusing little addition to the 7Wonder family – possibly lighter than Architects. There is the possibility for rigging the dice box, but hopefully this can be avoided via a stern talking to. Just as long as it is put in a reasonably sized box, though this is 7Wonders we’re talking about, so behold! The empty spaces!
The final day always seems to go so quickly and is a bit of a blur – I don’t think I did anything that day apart from 7Wonders Dice and a bit of lunch cover Battle of Hoth. I have held off considering buying anything over the weekend, but now have decided that I will get the new Joyrider expansion – it has a volcano and a zoo, what’s not to like? And a genetically-spliced hippo baboon. I have also noticed people wandering around with Deep Regrets, which I must admit, has intrigued me… but has, inevitably sold out – that’s why I held out so long, because I know that, by the end of the weekend, my resistance is low. Besides, I haven’t played it yet, and though my impulse buy last year totally paid off (Vale of Eternity), Deep Regrets is a bit too pricey to be impulse bought.
Though it has been a wonderful weekend, there’s a reason why all the people working at UKGE cheer when they give the final ‘UKGE 2025 is officially over’ announcement (though there have also been a lot of cheers when we’ve been given the ‘someone’s been butt messaging on their walkie-talkie’ announcements this weekend too) – it’s because we are all in bits. Doing the social thing for a prolonged period of time takes it out of you, and the first instinct is to slump like a partially deflated blimp over the gaming table and continue to deflate. But we’re not quite there yet. It’s pack up time.
It always astounds me that, despite having nothing left in the tank, demoers can continue to work like a well-oiled machine to get everything packed up. Sure, everything aches and your brain refuses to process anything more complex than ‘pick up; put down’, but that’s all it takes, and it takes less than an hour to clear up the games, tablecloths, tables, chairs and other gaming ephemera, and this process is being repeated across the three halls. Soon, this huge, elaborate collection of stalls, displays, distractions and entertainments have been reduced to well-ordered piles of items, ready to be ‘ported out, packed away and stored for another year. It’s impressive and melancholy at once. Time to go.
On my way back to the coach out of Birmingham, I wave a hello/goodbye to Jon Robertson – no Dark Room for me this year, but I would feel incomplete if I hadn’t seen him during the weekend. He doesn’t know me from Darren, but he still smiles and waves. Part of the family, isn’t he?
My last action before leaving Birmingham is to have a pint of Black Sabbath IPA at the bar around the corner of the coach station. Fitting, yet on reflection, strangely poignant. I will return… though next time it will be part business, part pleasure and part pilgrimage. Rest in power, prince of darkness…
